Reflections: The loss of my son

Reflections: The loss of my son

When I found out that I had lost my son, it was, in some ways, worse for my older son who I had called on the phone in panic. I actually said to him ‘Ary, Ary, (sobbing) your sister is saying on the phone that Adam is dead! It must be wrong. It must be wrong! Can you find out?! To which he immediately hung up and I can just imagine how quickly he got out of his workplace and sped to Caulfield, where my Adam lived.

The second New Year

The second New Year

Time marches on yet again, as it always does, from New Year’s Eve. It is already the third day of January! I have never really been one for NYE celebrations, having been to maybe two parties my entire life. So the fact that I didn’t want to do anything was not unusual behaviour. What was, and will forever remain unusual, is the fact that this is now my second NYE without my son Adam, by my side.

The headstone

The headstone

I don’t know whether it’s the weather or not, but everything is quite literally up the creek for me the last few days.. How on earth do I do this?  This is not the way it’s supposed to be…I should not be composing this, I can’t do it alone I have realised.  Since I have been out to his gravesite a number of things have happened.  First of all, my anxiety is through the roof!  I feel down and depressed….

Almost one year

Almost one year

It is killing me inside that soon we are marking the one year anniversary of my son’s death.  Just writing those words were difficult.  Time is an odd thing, sometimes feels like I saw him only last week but my subconscious knows that almost one year has passed…I had to stand at the grave site of my son.  It doesn’t seem possible that I have survived this. 

A new baby in the family

A new baby in the family

With the arrival of a new addition into the family feelings of nurture and protection surface and you want them to feel wanted, loved, protected and happy. You want to help them grow into successful and happy adults.  Powerful healing crystals to aid them through infancy and childhood are the beautiful…

Missing you

Missing you

The last few days I have been thinking about you more than usual.  Your absence is palpable.  Perhaps it is because we are about to welcome a new family member..The pain of one year without you is too much to bear.  What have I done for this year?  Nothing except mourn.  Mourn every single day, every minute, every second of every day…