Letters to my son

In honour of my Adam, this journal is dedicated to you, my son

I hope to honour your memory, your life and all of the wonderful feelings that you gave me, your mum.  I feel love today, more than mere words can express.  I feel your loss today very strongly.  I want to remember you with smiles and laughter but it’s just not coming.  Today is your birthday corresponding with my first blog post about you.  I feel your loss palpably and can barely comprehend that you are not here.  I miss you so very much and the longing to see you and hold you is inexpressible.

I love you my son, we all miss you but I am trying to be strong for you.  My soul bleeds, my heart bleeds, real blood and all of the soul life that this represents.

I hope you can feel me, your mum, Jude is very sad today. We miss you so very much.  I thank you for reconnecting me to my brother and sister – only your soul could do this – so please take comfort in this.

We are together and will be always – with no more separations.  Thank you my darling boy.

I love you, your mumma xxxxxxxxxxxxx one kiss from each member of your family

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