My birthday

Today is my 51st birthday and the first birthday that I have to spend without my Adam. It is awful.  I miss him terribly, desperately.…

Grief for our children

It is harrowing, reading about the pain of other mothers.  It does not in any way give me comfort knowing that I am not alone on this grief journey…..Yes, it’s unbearable pain.

But I am hiding it.

Hiding it for Adam and hiding it for his brothers and sisters.

I smile for Adam.  His life was worth a smile.

My son’s funeral

The following words were written for my son’s funeral. They were the hardest words I have ever had to put on paper. They were written through a haze of tears, anxiety, pain… unbearable grief and despair. They are all over the place really, but they are real, raw and true…